Shri Ganeshay Namha...

Woman....

2011-04-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

Wife and friend

Often gracious daughter

Mother like a sister

Amazing girlfriend

Never one, just multifaceted

Concealed emotions

2011-04-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Simpler truths

complicated lies

We are cloaked

it is a disguise

When anger in heart

silence is sought

When tears in eyes

on lips smile is brought

When anxious in gut

forced sureness in stance

When love felt throughout

deliberate ignorance in glance

When disagree with someone

just Keep it mum

When don't believe in someone

merely play it dumb

When there is wrong occurred

closed eyes

When there is right defended

nobody complies

Simpler truths

complicated lies

We are cloaked

it is a disguise

With every lie

truth is mislaid

With disguise

humanity is dead

To each other

2011-04-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

It was evident in your eyes
I saw, the moment,u left
The Regret....with each other

It was illusion,we created
I inferred,the moment, u left
The Love....for each other

It was tragic, we endured
I felt,the moment, u left
The Deceit....to each other

Quit?

2010-12-29T22:51:00.000-08:00

Questions asked

Unanswered & left

Induced anxiety

Triggered Death wish in me..

Prayer

2010-12-29T03:08:00.000-08:00

A silent prayer,of a homeless child

Looking at iron gates,and wishing to be inside

No toys, no clothes and not even sweets

That’s not what she wants and her heart needs

She wants to hold pencil in her hand

She wants to write on paper not on sand

She wants uniform and sing a Morning Prayer

She wants to play in the ground and be a team player

Though she lives on the streets and begs for food

All alone, she struggles, to earn her livelihood

Yet, those small hands are wishing to reach sky

Nothing matters when you aim high

Simple wish to learn and to get educated

Without any objection let it be granted

So....

2010-12-28T01:56:00.000-08:00

His words were emollient

For my battered heart

It was derelict

From people’s bogus love

And vulpine support

My plethora of trust for them

Made this pain inevitable

So I cried, So I cried

Yet, I couldn’t kiss life goodbye

Cause I believed in good things

And in my good deeds ,

So I waited, So I waited

For my angel to come

And to heal my pain

And give me a reason to smile

And to sustain…

As he entered in my life

He revived my heart

With his benevolence

And unconditional love

So I laughed, So I laughed

Again….

Me

2010-12-26T22:19:00.001-08:00

I stopped writing
I really don’t know why
Did I forget to weave words?
Or my emotions went dry?
So, without words I lived for a while
I didn’t liked it, I was sad, mad and rile
I kept on telling myself I can’t write
I left my ink, pen and paper out of sight
For time being I felt fine
I went out for dance and to dine
Yet, there was void in my soul
I was together but not whole
I heard my heart and its simple plea
That something was missing inside me
I looked for an answer or little clue
To find out, what I need to see through
And it suddenly dawn on me
That I have to write , to just be me….

2010-09-16T04:09:00.000-07:00

Sunlight recedes
        And the night awaits
                         Birds come home
                               And dusk elates

Roads turn still &
               Sky turns scarlet
                          Breeze turns cold
                                         And Sun sets

Clouds look gray
       After losing their glow
                   Some stars twinkle
                             Anticipating moon’s arrival

Yet the world can see
        There is glowing soft light
                     It’s has an aura of romance
                            It’s Twilight! It’s Twilight ! It’s Twilight

Tanuja Pawar

Adios!!!

2010-05-14T03:13:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all my students...

The day you entered in my cabin
Scared and Spooked.
Reluctant to come in
and disinterested you looked
Hundreds of questions in your mind
about me and my cave
You refused to answer to the smile I gave
You thought everybody dislikes you
and that's why you were sent here
I knew you felt like a caged bird
as if you were grounded for the whole year
As I started talking to you
about me and what I do
You listened to my words
yet believed my words were untrue
I could see fear in your eyes
and in your trembling hand
I wanted to you to know
how you feel, I understand
So I gave you a great deal of time
to get used to me and trust me
I didn't force you to accept
anything you don't want to be
So days passed by and sessions
come and went
You started coming on time
and liked the time we spent
I taught and You learned
along that, your trust I earned
You work hard for your exam
and got good marks.
I saw confidence in you and
your eyes with sparks
Quietly I told you
I am proud of you..
You were a smart boy
I always knew..
You looked at me
and gave me a smile
You know that tiny smile
made my life worthwhile...

PRATHM

2010-03-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

Plenty prayers

Requested

Almighty for

True happiness yet

Here I discovered

Miracle in veneration

Tanuja Pawar

Narcolepsy

2010-03-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

Anxiety creeps inside me

my each bone melts

Something inside me burns

and emptiness welts

my vision blurs and

speech slurs

and I feel Paralyzed

I look for place to

crawl in and shut my thoughts

the world around me

It's too bright and irritates me a lot
Its difficult to breath
suffocation sweeps through
and I feel Paralyzed

Daylight strikes in

yet my eyes want to shut

I want to stay alert

yet there is sleep in my gut

I resist dozing off

as numbness engulfs

and I feel Paralyzed

I feel weary, pale and weak

and fall asleep at vague times

I am perceived as lazy

but I am sick and its not a crime

I feel helpless

as I succumb to sleep

and I feel Void

Tanuja Pawar

Save the last dance for me

2010-03-08T23:47:00.000-08:00

Inspiration : MICHAEL BUBLE "Save The Last Dance For Me"

Lovely song, Close to my heart and inspired me to weave words...

Nothing stops you
When music floats in the air
You sway with it,even if there is no one to pair
Its in your blood, to dance on the beat
You weave your steps with your dancing feet
You forget what's around you and within
You hear the music and you spin
When I sense, you forget me in the crowd
and race with music beats, crazy and loud
I know It's your passion,It's rage and its in you

You only know, dance and that is what you do
But, I feel scared... losing you to unknown faces
My eyes look out for you and my heart races
Then I see you, in the middle of the dancefloor
With your moves as music you explore
I stand there, looking at your feet moving with hers
My knees go weak and my vision blurs
My heart frightens,my breath suffocates
I wish to leave, yet my heart waits...
In a flash, with one fading glance,I look at you looking at me
You leave the dance floor as you come towards me
And I know, You are mine and you belong with me
You bow down and ask for one dance
I smile and get up to get into trance
We glide in harmony as rhythm comes along
You draw me closer as the DJ plays our song.
I forget all Insecurities and everything I fear

I enjoy being me when you are near...
And I whisper, "go take the floor and have your fun"
Live your dreams but don't give your heart to anyone...
Remember....
I am waiting here and forever I will be...
and, Just like always, save the last dance for me....

Inspiration

2010-01-17T06:23:00.000-08:00

Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity....that's what dictionary says

But for me..The word "Inspiration" says hey, look at the world and learn to love,to enjoy, to embrace grief,let go hatred, wipe tears and respect LIFE..

When I write, its always someone or something that inspires me

So, I write for all those who inspired me to live my LIFE..

now, for coming months I am planning to write about it

So, here comes

Inspiration

Just a smile

or a sad tear

nothing divine yet words appear

Simple moments mingled with true emotions

create rare Inspirations

A goodbye kiss

for all time sake

A welcome party

with friends and a cake

A terrible fight

on the train

A long walk

In the drizzling rain

Silly gestures and celebrations

create rare Inspirations

A news of death

on the phone

A loud cry

for one's own

A stupid envy

towards a friend

A Lost game

in the end

Awful pain and misconceptions

create rare Inspirations

A strong shoulder

to lean on

A bitter past

and days bygone

A small talk

about relationships

A serious discussion

about friendships

futile debates and considerations

create rare Inspirations

Sometimes good, Sometimes bad

To my life, pinch of spice they add

My poems are just interpretations

of these rare Inspirations....

आस

2010-01-13T07:00:00.001-08:00

      दु:ख आणि सुख माझे तुझ्यातच गुंतलेले
      दुष्काळ पडला की नदी शोधत राहते पाणी
      तुझ्या शरीराची सावली शोधते मे अनवाणी
      पावसाळ्यात रस्ता, भीक मागतो उन्हाचि
      मन मागते माझे एक हाक प्रेमाची
      विराहाच्या वादळामध्ये सुख माझे हरवलेले
      गारव्यात सुर्या सुद्धा ओढतो शाल मेघांची
      रात्री अन् दिवसा सुद्धा,मे पाहते तुझ्या येण्याची
      ग्रीष्मात धरणीलाही, सावली मिळते झाडांची
      केव्हा येईल घटीका आपल्या मिलनाची
      वर्षानुवर्षे डोळे माझे वाटेवरच हरवलेले
      दु:ख आणि सुख माझे तुझ्यातच गुंतलेले

Tanuja Pawar

गंध

2010-01-13T06:35:00.000-08:00

ओल्या मातीचा तो गंध
आज पहा रे सुटला
अंगणात माझा बाळ
आज पाण्यात न्हाहला
पावसाच्या त्या सरी
डबक्यात बरसल्या
चेहेरा माझ्या बाळाचा
चिखलाने माखालेला
चमकली आकाशात वीज
आघात झाला तो ढगला
माझा काळजाचा तुकडा
येऊन काळजाला चिकटला

Tanuja Pawar

Single

2010-01-10T06:19:00.000-08:00

I don't want a garden full of roses

I just want a single rose

I don't want a sky full of stars

I just want a single star that forever glows

I don't want hundreds of violins to play

I just want a single tune which makes me sway

I don't want cars,long drives and places to explore
I just want a single walk on the endless shore
I don't want chocolates or solitaire

I just want a single hug with love and care

I don't want a prince charming or a knight

I just want single man who loves me outright....

You are my everything

2010-01-10T03:58:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to my "MOM"

I never say, but I feel
the love for you ...which my heart conceal
no matter how much I try
while saying it my throat still goes dry
I don't know why? I can't tell you
Hey!!! Mom "I love You"

I can say it to my brother
and to everyone I love and care for
It's so simple and easy
yet saying it to you makes me uneasy
hey! I don't love you less
yet these words I suppress
I don't know why? I can't tell you
Hey!!! Mom "I love You"

I know you want to hear it
Yet almost every time I ignore it
You always tell me that u love me a lot
Yet I hold back..and stand like a snot
Its dumb..and Its confusing
Yet you love me...that's amazing
I don't know why Mom? I can't tell you
Hey!!! Mom "I love You"

I thought about it
Why can't I say it...
The words you want to hear
Coz these words are not mere
Its just that, and its a fact
They come with big responsibility
Saying and living up to them is still out of my capability
So.. Its not about Love or words, or fear
I want to be responsible & take care of you my dear..
So..please wait for a while
Till your little girl does something worthwhile
I want to make you proud
and then I will say it loud
I always wanted to tell you....
Hey!!! Mom "I love You"

Thirst

2009-12-26T23:48:00.000-08:00

After a serious game

the exhausted body

wants to unwind

And seeks gelid water

to quench the thirst

a complete bliss

For a Sweltering Athlete

2009-12-24T03:50:00.000-08:00

Always
Lead
Misled mortals
Into light
Guided them
Healed their wounds
Tenderly and
Yielded awakening

I know...

2009-12-23T03:26:00.000-08:00

I know
It's probably impossible
that we will ever be together

but, what should I tell my heart?
It still wants to wait for you, forever and ever....

I know
It's likely unthinkable
that I will see you once again
but, what should I tell my eyes?
They still want to look for you, without complain....

I know
It's probably impossible
that I will listen to your words now and then
but, what should I tell my ears?
They are still waiting to hear from you again and again...

I know
It's likely unthinkable
that I will able to touch you, once in while
But, what should I tell my hands?
They still want to seek you with a hug and smile....

I know
It's outrageously foolish
that, You will ever know that how much I loved you
But, what should I tell Myself ?
Who still needs love and only love from you....

Tanuja Pawar

Words....

2009-12-08T06:25:00.000-08:00

To, My Grandpa....Love of my life

My grandpa once told me, that our love can create miracles
I hoped, that one day I 'll be part of one...
He told me"what you give, you get it back in return"
I made up my mind, that I'll be always giving out love
So,now years went by and my old man passed away
I still believe in his words and what he used to say....
He told me "being kind is more important than being right"
I've realized the same now, when I am helping demented minds...
He told me"don't give up on people whom you love, they always return"
I've never closed the doors of my heart on my own...
He told me "God always gives you what u deserve and what you worked for"
I've never been causal about my work and I've never given up on god...
He told me"Its never too late to say sorry"
I've learnt that no matter how big my mistake was, in the end I was forgiven...
He told me"Smile all the time if u want to fight loneliness"
I gained lot's of friends to smile with me and to relish life with them..
He told me"U will get the exact life U will wish for"
I've learned that I can colour my life with the magic wand..
In the end, He told me the most important thing
Still today its the biggest reason of my being...
He whispered "I love you " in my ears.
It made me feel special that day and will keep me happy for coming years..
I know he is not with me Today
I will never forget his words and what he used to say....

Tanuja Pawar

Revenge

2009-12-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find solace,
Night eagerly awaits,
Sun to vanish and darkness to come
As light melts away and shadow comes along
The night curbs in and the brightness succumbs
As soon as the darkness spreads and covers whole vicinity
and night conquers luminosity.....then begins fresh era of iniquity
It wants to punish the mortals who worship brightness and glorify a day
Now, Night is escorted by the darkness... creates supreme somberness
The breeze is cold and the night is wicked, Its greedy and vicious
It creates a dwelling for thieves, criminals and alcoholics
It seduces them to act in incorrect and perverted ways
Darkness intoxicates their ability to think and feel
All bow down to the darkness with silence
They do what is to be called forth
And, it leaves them alone
To fight with the world
When day comes
Revenge ….

Farewell....

2009-11-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to someone I know....

I cried in the corner, sitting on an old battered bench.
I needed to vent out , my quondam quashed quench....
The tears came with sobs and my body trembled
I leant against the tattered wall and his name I mumbled...
He just left the world, after fighting with his pain for years

I couldn't do anything yet I kept on holding my tears

and now, I couldn't hold back... the pain I felt within..

so I let out my emotions which were curbed in..

No...I don't want to give him farewell wrapped in tears

But I had to cry so I can survive in coming years
I knew, that he wanted to go...leave this dreadful life
Yet, he waited, for me to overcome my soul's strife...
and... yesterday he cried like a baby and asked me to let him go
I unleashed him from my nestle, I should have done it long ago...
It was not easy for me to ask him to go away....
without him, all alone how can I live a single day...
I gave him life, he is part of me
how can I tell him to go? yet he wanted to be free...
I looked into his eyes...they were so desperate to get some rest...
I realized, letting loose these ties.... is only for his best.
So I yielded to his wishes ....Let him go to sleep...
I came out...sat on the same battered bench...but I couldn't weep...
Now, I am crying away my anguish and let my cheeks drench
I needed to vent out , my quondam quashed quench....
Copyright "Tanuja Pawar"

Another Day

2009-10-03T00:11:00.000-07:00

I look out of the window, and see the grey sky
As countless frustrations clouding my core and my throat goes dry
Living with Confusion and chaos, kindles my fears
And my eyes feel sorry, when it slide downs tears
I wipe my tears and try to smile
So what I have problems which are vile
But, still I believe in miracles and god’s mysterious way
And I say to myself! Girl, just give your self another day…

When problems come without giving a sign
And life becomes a riddle, and I want to whine
No one to talk to and no one to lean on,
Just all alone, and everything going wrong
Looking and searching for answers makes me mad
And then I feel really hopeless, sick and sad
But, I don’t know, how? I don’t give up, but I close my hands and pray
And I say to myself! Girl, just give your self another day…

I know one day grey clouds will go and sun will shine
Confusions will disappear and I’ll be fine
Troubles come and go, they never stay forever
I have to deal with them being patient and clever
I must prioritize what I want, what don’t
If I don’t want to do something I have to say “I won’t”
I know that one day; I’ll find my way…
And whenever trouble comes, I will give myself another day….

Crossroads

2009-07-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

To my Brother.....

Confusion, within
Never-ending.. Commotion of thoughts...
Standing at Crossroads, A point where a choice must be made
One wrong direction and future will fade
What should I do? where should I go?
What is right? and What is wrong?
I am on my own, no one to hold on...

Until now, I was not allowed to take decisions on my own
And suddenly, I am left alone because, You think I have grown
You stopped spoon feeding me, without giving me a clue
You know, it’s scary, standing alone at crossroads, without knowing what to do…
I looked at you for help, but you were already gone
I am on my own, no one to hold on...

I really don’t know, what kind of games life plays
I am still amateur to infer life’s uncanny ways
I am not a coward, not running away
I don’t want you to do my work, but please be my guide, and lead the way
If you turn back on me, I have no where to go, no one to look upon
I will be on my own, no one to hold on...

What if I have grown up, got wings to fly
I will always need you, even if I reach the sky
I need your word of advice now and evermore
It will give strength to my wings whenever I soar
I don’t want to be on my own, I want to hold on
Being there for each other, that’s what I want from hereon…..

lonesome Rain

2009-07-08T04:55:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all lonely hearts.....

With the nightfall, the rain came down
I left my base… with dissonance and frown..
I walked few blocks in the rain ….uninterested and ignoring
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……

I was wondering…. about now and then
Walking in the lonesome rain…
The same splatter once made me glad
At the moment, it is black and mad
The driblets of water are whipping me endlessly
At one time it used to smooth out, my stress so effortlessly
Once the rain was magnificent and alive
And today it is cruel and difficult to survive.
I felt, the approaching destruction….As the monsoon was roaring…
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……

Earlier rain was fun,
I never missed warmth of the sun…
I used to go out, for long walks in the woods
I used to sit and stare, naughty waves and their funny moods
I used to paint assorted shades of sky
I used to feel revived and wanted to fly….
And now, rain makes me gloomy and I brood
I stay home and close my windows …. So it won’t intrude…
Sky roars most of the day
And transmits Storms, floods and dismay
Suddenly I was numb…and for me rain was boring
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……

And then….
I saw…. A girl frolicking in the rain
She was as happy as rain, and without single drop of pain
Instantly, I realized…. Rain was not lonely
It was I who was Lonely, unhappy and left out...

Stills of Memories...

2009-02-21T06:58:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to all preserved Photos.....

When I see, my photographs, the imagery possessions of my past

They tell me how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

On just a bit of paper the events of my life are caught and fixed...

On one small plane my life's all emotions are intermixed...

All the Happy moments, are caught with simple click

Don't know its real or just a magic trick...

In some of those, I see my silly and foolish smile

In some of those, I see myself thinking for a while

In some of those, I see me looking at the sky

In some of those, I have clicked someone passing by

I see my herd of friends making amusing faces

I see all the snaps of my favourite places...

It feels really nostalgic, taking just look at them

Recalling the past events makes me overwhelm..

Oh! looking at these stills memories, as reliving own past..

They tell me, how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

I have pic of my grandpa holding me

I can see him, whenever I miss thee

The pic of my old school makes me teary

when I was happy and believed tales of faerie

Jimmy running across the garden to frighten a crow

and on my birthday everyone clapping as the candle I blow...

It feels just like a ride on Time machine, taking me back in the past

They tell me how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

On some lazy Sunday, reminiscing all the afternoon

The pictures in my hands and singing a forgotten tune..

Returning to old days, and reckoning blessed past...

Oh! I wonder, How and when the time has passed, So quickly and So fast...

Tanuja Pawar

Miss you...

2009-02-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

To my Friend....(.....)

Now, Sometimes I think you were illusion of my mind

But, when I was with you I knew that you were so real and rare to find...

It's a miracle that how we adhered
Two antithetic's became friends...its is so weird

We never thought alike and to different lives we belonged
But, Don't know how we came together all along

You gave me your hand to hold and shoulder to lean on..
In my dark and depressed life you risen like dawn...

I rediscovered myself just being with you..

In my dull world you came and made it bright too...

You were so smart and I was fool and emotional
But your friendship made my life easy and thoughts more rational...

It's with you I felt completed and not alone anymore
You gave the strength to my wings to soar and sky to explore...

And one day, we fell apart, and went on different ways

Whatever were the reasons, but everything ended in a haze...

But,afterwards you came back to me, and tried to save pieces of it

And, I turned you down and told you to quit...

Oh! I still feel it's good that we parted and lead different lives

At least, you are happy and I hope everyday it thrives

Because...

Life is so funny...and so much fake

It gives lovely surprises...and with surprise it takes

Once, we believed that we needed each other for now and evermore

No...It was not a illusion of our heart or our mind

Still...I feel those thoughts were really real and rare to find....

For Coming into my life I want to thank you..

I Really miss those days and I miss You too...

Tanuja Pawar...

In LOve

2009-01-18T07:47:00.001-08:00

Falling in love had once seemed so ridiculous
but now it feels so right
All myths become true .....
When wearing a shining armor
on the white horse.. comes your knight..
He smiles into your eyes
and he sweeps u off your feet
You tremble and mumble
trying to catch your racing heart beat...
You lose sleep and your hunger dies
You paint world in pink and desire to fly in high skies..
u blush and u smile and u daydream
and one glance of him makes your eyes gleam..
His touch makes you warm
and his smile makes you glad
with him you are ecstatic otherwise sad
Magical Experience Falling in love is, a consuming delight...
Though once it seemed so ridiculous, but now it feels so right...
Copyright"Tanuja Pawar"

Demise of separation

2008-12-21T08:05:00.001-08:00

Dedicated to my wishful thinking....

In the middle of the night....
Beneath the starlit sky,
as she walks... looking at clouds passing by...
Her silk stole, is fluttering and her fragrance mingling in the space...
strands of hair drooping on her nape and she is walking with grace...
On the cliffs He is standing, waiting for her...
Looking at waves and listening to wind's soft murmur..
In one hand boom box and holding scarlet rose in other...
Like a rigid sculpture, standing still altogether..
As she reaches her destination and looks at him
His silhouette is beaming, and everything is grim..
She walks towards him...with quick strides
stressing to cease the distance, as them it divides
as soon as he smells her in the air and turns around
watching her pacing through ruff track..makes him spell bound
Insane urge in his heart, makes his heart sway...
promptly he walks to her, to meet her halfway
she looks at him, looking at her
in ruffled loose shirt and sea water droplets all over
wind is in his hair and smile on his face
his eyes are glinting with mischievous gaze.
he presents her the rose and holds her hand
and he puts on the music as he planned...
a tear trickles down from her eyes..
but her smiling lips are enchanting surprise
he takes her in his embrace...never to let her go..
they belong to each other...what if others say no...
she smiles into his eyes and he into her..
Just happiness ...from now..as they will live together
she clenches his hand and moves toward the peak...
he follows her silently..as there is no need to speak..
for a second they look at each other...as being on cloud nine..
knowing from tomorrow....everything will be fine.
Holding each other...they plunge into the heart of the ocean
and it takes them in... with simple harmonic motion...
the music goes on but there is hush all around
and on one rock ...a shattered rose is found....
mortals cry on earth but angels in the heaven smile
they lived for nothing...but died worthwhile...
YES!! now and forever..they will live with each other...
what if...life separated them but death wedded them together...

2008-12-10T03:51:00.001-08:00

I grew up in Kolshet...its beautiful...and its homely...I dedicate my words To Kolshet...Where I dwell... and where my heart will be...when I move on...

The soft light of the setting sun
The zephyr kissing her cilium
And banished beggar singing hymn
She seeks solitude in sudden whim…
The citrus sky and gelid feel..
Rustling tree-tops and bang tails winging with zeal
Streetlights glint and moonlight tumbles
Oh! My dwelling is so entrancing; she gushes, and she mumbles

She walks towards the shore, reckoning her strides
Silence, solitude In her soul collides
Barefooted she treads on silky sand
Gazing waves, dashing on rocky land….
Her thoughts are enchanted...and her pace stumbles
Stunning panorama!! captivating my sight; she gushes, and she mumbles...

she looks at the sky, which is turning dark
and arriving moon with illuminating spark
embellishment of stars on celestial sphere
menacing shadow abruptly disappear...
She feels still, quite and solitary...although her heartbeat fumbles
Yes !!Heaven is just here!! she gushes, and she mumbles...

I am gracious

2008-11-27T08:12:00.000-08:00

To, Didi and Jiju...and Nair Family..

I am gracious, to U wid all my heart
U made me what I am now...made me stand apart
U taught me to love and be kind..
when I was spoilt child and out of mind
Thanks for giving me home and the warmth I needed
all the hatred and lonliness from my heart it weeded...
U are my angel and my good friend
wid your love..YOU helped my broken heart to mend...

Sometimes I wonder, how U became part of life?
Its funny u became my friend..just like Ur dearest wife..
I feel that I know U for years...like an old friend
sometimes I feel U are also godsend...
Thank you...for coming to the life of didi's and mine
U are wonderful father and wid U everything will be fine....

I thank you all, treating me as one of you
for giving me time and ears and smile too
I treasure the time I shared wid you all
wid elders and new members who are still small..
so many.. kind poeple live under one roof..
here lives, humanity...and I am the proof

To word my gratitude...I don't have enough words or space
Oh! guys you all rock...For U all there is no replace...

I gave You Love

2008-11-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

To.....(Not my friend anymore)..and people who lie to me...

Sometimes, I wonder..what A big fool I am
That I gave you My love
But, then...I thought U were my friend...
u breached my trust, and broke my heart..
and because of you , my world , and I fell apart

I always thought, U cared for me..But I was wrong
I dont believe...How? I was in delusion for so long...
U were My friend...thats what u said
all those lies of u are still in my head..
But, now I hate Myself...that I trusted you
u were born manipulative and will die too..

I don't want to waste my words much
but I need to let go what I seems to clutch..
the anger.. hatred..for you
hating u makes me think of U
So..I want to be indifferent to you..
I want you out my mind
coz..this is the only way I find..
with my words... I forgive you...to forget you
but...I hope in futrue I will not see you..

I am part of "YOU"

2008-11-09T01:32:00.000-08:00

From now I will Dedicate my Poems to People who made my life special by more than "Just Being there" So, I dedicate this poem to, Ganpati bappa, thy part I am....

“YOU” are the one whom I trust the most
I am speaking ... my heart...coz there is no need to boast
About what we share and how we are
“YOU” are in my heart... “YOU” can't be afar...
“YOU” are there for me...whenever I need “YOU”...
Because “YOU” are the whole and I am the precious part of “YOU”...
In me… “YOU” are the hope, when I close my eyes and pray
In me… “YOU” are the smile that makes someone… happy everyday..
In me… “YOU” are the Love which helps me to endure pain
In me…"YOU” are the strength which helps me to live sane…
“YOU” can hold me and scold me for wrong I do
But When I am right...and want to fight... “YOU” are there for me too
“YOU” can give me everything… but hardly “YOU” take
But whenever I am wrong….then “YOU” point out my mistake…
I wonder sometimes, that "YOU" are divine and almighty..
but For me "YOU" are My Friend not merely a deity..
"YOU" laugh with me when I am happy...
"YOU" put up with my anger, when I am snappy
"YOU" meet me as friend , when I need a cheering soul..
"YOU" give out love, which makes me whole...
The Day, I took birth on this Earth..
"YOU" being there with me, made my living worth...
Today, when I am capable to take care of me...
I know..no one can give me care and love as thee...
So, u my lovely confidant...
I hope our bonding should live forever..that's what I want...
So, be there If I tremble on life's, difficult way..
I need your hand and that is what I pray....

I Wish.....

2008-11-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

I wish it would go away...the rage inside me....
I am annoyed with my own anger..... and what it makes me...
I feel edgy, I feel mad...I feel alone and I feel sad.....
It makes me so dangerous and vulnrable...
I know, when I am furious I am not at all stable...
I say, bad words and many times I scream
Once I am furious I can go to any extreme
It's my temper, I can't control....
Although, I try with all my heart and soul

but still I know,
I am not bad, cruel or rude
when I am angery it makes me just crude..
I can't control mine heated feelings
may be I am very sloppy with emotional dealings....
I want to control these strong emotions I feel
But binding fury is very hard to deal

It makes me feeble and weak
It makes me beast as they all speak
I live on an edge...from where I will fall anytime
Is getting angry is really a crime?
Its just emotion I feel...When I am threatend by some
It just, just expression, still I can't overcome
But, when I supress my anger.....
then, living volcano inside me.... i hold
boiling with anger and ready to explode...

Oh! I know when I am angry everyone hates me
I know what they feel..I can see..
They think I am inhuman...may be a devil
Does anyone with intense emotion can be civil?

Escape...

2008-10-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am longing to esacape from the life I live
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...
without any thought I plunge into my subconscious
and shut.. the door... to the whole world of realities...to just outlive...
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...

In the sphere of my subconscious
I am the swayer
I am the creater, protector and destroyer...
Here..Everybody obeys me ..dances on my tunes
I am the taskmaster and others are goons..
I am not harsh...till respect I recieve
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...

I can swim in the river, and breath virgin breeze
I can trail on the mountain, and walk barefeet
I can sleep in the peace, and wake up a new
I can dance in the rain and catch all the drops of dew
So... beautiful my fanatasy is , so, hard to believe
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...

Here no one can make me cry, or make me small..
I am always smiling and standing above all..
no one to judge me no one to pass comment
I am certain to me everyone is benevolent...
no one to caste me off...no one to cage
so, I live here without fear and rage...
I have learned here to give and Forgive...
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...

But, Then....
When Sometime I wake up to reality
And I realise that I am living life as if it is just a formality..
No..Its not fault of real and reality
I have woven the fake world..and its a kind of abonormality...
I want to esacap and deny my actual world and where I belong...
I want to elude the the truth...and that's what is wrong...
Though...I know its Superficial what I percieve
But, still " I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live"

stirred and terrified.....

2008-10-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

now there is whirlwind in my conscience
those departed sweet and sour memories
are returning... Just like.... life is coming to full circle
I am scared and standing with my all defences....to rebuff those adversaries
who made me feeble in the past...I was broken...
feelings were dead inside me....
I tried to gather pieces of my heart...though it was futile...
Everything was lost....
but still I live with those pitiful moments...
In my heart ...sealed and unspoken...
though once they made me soar in firmament...
and with my next breath I came down on earth...wounded
Just like the bird who's wings are slashed...but still alive
... Empty.. soundless.... and hollow...
I was dead inside..though breathing...and living in torment..
Days were lonely and nights were haunting...
as if I was lost in the dark forest of sorrows....disoriented
afraid of sunshine...as if it will consume me ...
hiding in the closet...as if the stares of people were too intimidating....
I was paranoid .....
but, then time heals all....
like Phoenix .. I took birth from ashes of my past.....
Buried all the feelings...and that consuming pain behind
Mended my broken heart.... with a fence of a secure wall...
and now..everything is coming back with U ...
what I left behind...what I couldn't end...
what I couldn't ignore...what I still feel
those all retentions erupting me and cutting me through..
I thought the wall was potent..U will not get through
But it was crushed with your one glance...
The wall is broken now...and U already pried in...
Now I am not able to snub U....
So, I am wound up....How I will face you?? stirred and terrified.....

I love you...

2008-09-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

I thought U have already forgotten me...but I was wrong...
now...I know... I am there in ur heart.... all along....

But...always....
I thought you were not mine.....to me..... u didn't belong
I thought that we were incompatible.... we can't get along..
I thought you detested me.... for some reasons...might be very strong...
I was in illusion.....Why? for so long...

and....then....for while...
I thought I will move on... swallow what I feel..
I will lock my lips and my heart i will seal..
I will seek solitude...ampuated by my sense..
I will cage my spirit and constrain it with solid fences...

but...when u sang...that song yesterday
It made me realised what it had to say....
You vocalised my words in most precise way...
That forgotten melody.......made my heart sway....

Now...that..I know...
What I thought was wrong...
You never forgotten me nor my song....
So, now..I want to dedicate these words to you...
And this is my way to say "I love You"....

Picking Roses for life time...

2008-09-21T02:37:00.000-07:00

Start picking up roses for life...to fill your heart with absolute delight....
Though they come with the hurting thorns ....but sometimes that little pain is alright....
They are just like our life....filled with moments of felicity and distress...
Petals are so soft could soothe the stress but thorns could make life a mess...

But...then its beauty which is everlasting..
And the fragrance which will captivate a heart..
Touch of petal is like a subdued Velvet
and the standing rose which is objet d'art...

A Rose...blooming with the first light
So, enchanting and beyond ordinary understanding
Like happiness is just as spellbound
U forget misery and sorrow...
You live life in merry as if there is no tomorrow...

So, quash all the thorns and pick up the roses....
So what? for moment gaiety it possess......

Not ethnocentric....

2008-09-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

Before I was born... I had no identity
Just a cell in the womb of my mother...with unconditional serenity
I was born with thousand tags.. like caste, culture and creed
I did not choose any of them....and there was no need..

Today After several years...I am learning, for me what they mean...
It's gift of my forefathers...which I had not seen....
Now..It's my duty to protect and preserve their gift
It should neither fade nor it should drift...

I would never abuse anyone for their culture, caste and creed..
I would rather judge each man only on his deed..
I would never ruin others ...when I protect what's mine
If We respect each other..with me thats fine...

But If u try to bully or abuse me or my language or what I am..
I would do the same...cause then I will not give a damn
I will penalize you..no matter who you are
everthing is fair in the Love and the war...

That's why....I call myself warrior.....though you may call me Ethnocentric..
I am bound to protect what is mine....and that is what I seek...

Mirror Image

2008-09-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yes ! I have personality that splits now and then
It's difficult to find which is me? again and again
who am I ?some times i wonder.....
A rebel inside and outside, A submissive blunder...

They say I have a very expressive face...anyone can read my eyes and tell, what my thoughts embrace...
But they don't know She can pretend so well... My eyes will reveal only what She wants to tell...
But that's not me... playing hide and seek...Its some one else who makes me freak...

She likes extremes and I like balance...
She likes noise and I like silence...
she likes pride and I like humility..
She likes to wander and I like stability

we live within one body... with one mind and with one heart
we are one but so much apart
she hates me when I surrender myself...
she shakes me up and assert herself..

I get irritated when she hurts someone...
why should I justify what she has done?
no matter what........... She is me and I am her
If one of us fade our image will blur....

I know in my heart...she wants to protect me
but she should realise ...now she should set me free..
I want to be alone I want to be "Me"

Abstract....

2008-09-03T03:28:00.000-07:00

U took away the anguish from my heart and made me glad...
when u came down drizzling on the dry land..
wid enchanting colours u painted my spirt...
and now its soaring high.....
The driblets of water on my window like silver ivories
U weaved them in my thoughts and they will glitter someday in my words
I can see them shining and touching the hearts of mortals one day
with the purity of raindrops and touch of thunder
you unwound my psyche and whisked my fears
now i m in tranquil...
to drag words from my mentations and spill them on cellulose pulp...

Chetan bhagat's speech@Symboisys pune-Excellent !!!

2008-08-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

---Here is what he has to say
"Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about.I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party -several months in advance - just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the sparkfades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the secondhalf? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -togive your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company paypackage, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case,Mr.Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better.You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathonor whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same withlife, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger.What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person.How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved -movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly,seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result -atleast I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces,pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, buteverywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.Infact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't.I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique.What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them.Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and thenothers.There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college.But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you,but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it nowmorethan any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying -I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You.Chetan Bhagat

Just 1 plea..

2008-06-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

Look into my eyes and then U will know...
how much I love U... they will show...
I cant get the words to tell U what i feel
but lot's and lot's of love for U ....my heart silently conceal...
In front of you.... i can't speak... i don't know why?
May be my feelings are scared and my lips are shy..
But my eyes always try to express.. my love for U...
please learn the language of eyes ...So i can speak to you..

they will tell U... that U dwell within me...
when i close my eyes... You are the only one i see..
they always wish that ur eyes will talk with them...
not only my eyes but i also wish the same...
my eyes want to convey... my feelings are true...
please learn the language of eyes ...So i can speak to you..
when u will learn the language of my eyes
U will know how much I talk... and U will be surprised...
the faster u'll learn... the better for me and U
please learn the language of eyes ...So i can speak to you..

तू....

2008-06-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

आता तू जवळ हवा होतास मी पावसात भिजताना....
किती मजा आली असती सरीवर सरी झेलताना....
छोटे छोटे थेंब मी हातामध्ये साठवून तुझ्यावर फेकले असते..
तुझा हात हातात घेऊन चक्क पावसात नाचले असते..
तुझ्या बाइकवर् बसून आपण दूरवर हिंडलो असतो...
टोचणार्‍या पावसातही आपण मनसोक्त रमलो असतो ...
आता तू हवा होतास मस्त आल्याचा चहा पिताना,
किती मजा आली असती सरीवर सरी झेलताना....

किनार्‍यावर दूरवर आपण चालत गेलो असतो...
मग कुठल्यातरी खडकावर क्षणभर निवांत बसलो असतो...
येणार्‍या त्या लाटांना पाहून काही क्षण घाबरलो असतो..
मग एकमेकांना घट्ट पकडून लाटनाच पाहत बसलो असतो..
आता तू हवा होतास अफाट सागराला पाहाताना,
किती मजा आली असती सरीवर सरी झेलताना....

मोठा पाउस आला की धावत झाडाखाली गेलो असतो...
हिरव्या पानाच्या छत्रीखाली आसार्‍यासाठी थांबलो असतो..
एकमेकांच्या सहवासात आपण सगळ्यानाच विसरलो असतो..
मग घरी जाताना दोघही रुसून शांत झालो असतो...
आता तू हवा होतास मे एकटीच चालताना,
किती मजा आली असती तुझ्या बरोबर चालताना...

ME, A MAn and Her

2008-05-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

Is Life is all about... just closing ur eyes when u don't want see something or everything ???
Many times in our lives we have to see and witness so many incidents where we experience helplessness, hatred, flare, sorrow, agony.... In such times, mostly we close our eyes and pretend that nothing unusual is happening around us.. But closing our eyes does not solves the problem... actually problem remains there and we AVOID it... why do we do that?? Coz we don’t care? or WE are not responsible? or we are Scared?? ........ yes May be that’s the answer.. we are scared........
It was Saturday... I was going home from Ghatkoper... I was late...Ghatkoper is little creepy when u are alone you feel more threatened.. its quite shabby and stuffy...near station the red light area is more dingy.. while walking u can see the prostitutes waiting for their customers, those shabby huts with that dark yellow coloured bulbs.. smell of cigarettes in the air, some bojhpuri songs and visual torture of bright colours and panipuri thelas.. so many confusing lanes and vehicles trying to cut the traffic.. a complete chaos... I looked at watch...9.15 ..shit I am late I thought.. called up my mom and I was talking with her.... and then I heard a big sound and scream.. and noise…. said bye to mom and turned back...I saw so many people were gathered just behind me....as I am curious person.. I went to see what happened... but before that, actually I guessed ""it was an accident"" as usual... I peeped in and I saw blood everywhere.. and for the first time in my whole day and I felt that much desired chilling silence which was unbearable right now ..... me and other onlookers were just looking... everybody was stunned and scared... vehicle was smashed by truck.. disfigured...and people were looking at the guy in that rick he was alive but his world was shattered.. I felt was able hear his little breathing or I was delusional ….. I don’t know....suddenly one guy came and removed him from the battered ric just as we remove anything from the box ..I looked at him and felt more sick , he was wearing shabby shirt and half pant. his mouth was red as if he was eating paan and he was very thin and black .his white hair were giving him haunted look….but his energy was tremendous
ahhh... the rickshawala was wrapped in blood coat... his face was half covered with bruises and dark blackish marks ... his arm was broken... that man in shabby shirt screamed... he tried to pull him up but it was not possible as his one leg was stuck... nobody was helping him and after 10 min he pulled him out.. some lady told somebody called for an ambulance.. the man in shabby shirt shouted that he needs big cloth to tie rickshawala's hand... he screamed again and suddenly I realized that ... nobody was there ....me two ladies and five guys... suddenly everybody disappeared…. specially that lady who was giving instruction for calling help before..... I was there without doing anything... and that other female besides me removed her dupatta and gave to him... I saw him looking at her after removing her dupatta and she smiled and I realized who she was…. she was wearing blue ghagra and golden choli, painted her lips with dark red lipstick, gajra in her hair, rainbow coloured bangels in hand, nails painted in pink colour... but that time for me and that man with broken arm, she was an Angel....and others who left were humans like me.....she looked at me and told "AE bai ja tu yhanse ye to roz ka hai.."... suddenly she made me realised that .... and the I felt sick and tired.. I turned back and closed my eyes for while and started walking...at one bend I looked back and saw that man and the bloodstained man was sitting.. There was no sign of ambulance...that female was smoking cigarette.. Some people were just giving a look at them and passing by..others were avoiding it...... and I left.. In the train I closed my eyes and diverted my thoughts to something else...Why?? WHY??... Till today when I go to Ghatkoper I can see them sitting on that same footpath for an ambulance.... I closed my eyes every time but they are there in my mind...till today..
Yesterday I went to Ghatkoper.. It was Saturday...

अस वाटत कधीतरी....

2008-05-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

अस वाटत कधीतरी....
पावसाचे थेंब व्हावे
त्याच्या अंगावर पडून
त्याला चिंब करावे...
अस वाटत कधीतरी....
सूर्याचे किरण व्हावे
सकाळी सकाळी माझ्या स्पर्शानी
त्याला हळूच जागे करावे ....
अस वाटत कधीतरी....
वार्‍यात सामील व्हावे
आणि हळूच झुळकेबरोबर
त्याला जाऊन बिलगावे....
अस वाटत कधीतरी....
त्याच्याच रुमाल व्हावे
त्याच्याच हातानी त्याला स्पर्शून जावे....

Ganesha---The Omnipotent

2008-05-27T02:31:00.000-07:00

U r the light that shines everyday

U r the breeze that makes everything sway...

U r the fragrance in the thousand flowers

U r the twinkle in the uncountable stars...

U r the timeless sky ,U r the endless ocean

U r the monsoon wind, which creates magical sensation...

U r the soul that takes birth on earth

U r the mind that makes our life worth...

U r the blood which flows in the vein

U r the thoughts which occupies the brain...

U r in kindness, U r in tolerance

U r in charity, which creates pinnacle of reverence...

U r the courage that makes soilders survive

U r the faith that keeps humanity alive...
U r the truth that gives justice to the seeker

U r the strength that gives hope to the weaker...

U r almighty, U r everywhere
U dwell in my heart and forever U will stay there...

Story that changed my life....

2008-05-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

To all who think they are short tempered plz read the story

NAIL IN THE FENCE
Once there was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy not lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I' m sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."
...............i used to be very aggressive, short-tempered, arrogant.... and people used always label all adjectives like those above... but they never told me ... what actually i am doing wrong and how it is affecting me and others.... and because of my attitude i lost so many people worth loving... i regret it now.... but once my Brother told this story and made me realise that anger can destroy love... and love so precious to loose... and i am thankful to Dada that he told me this story...
Today i want say sorry to each and every one...whom i have hurt in past... i know that wound cannot be healed so easily ...but my sincere sorry may take some pain away from it...

To My Dearest Friend...

2008-05-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

It’s very rare The bond we share..
When I look in ur eyes I know u care

U know what makes me happy and what makes me sad
U know how to wipe my tears and make me glad
U can make me laugh when I want to cry
U love me so much I want to ask u why?
U can read my eyes when my lips don’t speak
U give me strength whenever I go weak
U show me the path whenever I am confuse
U push me forward when I tend to refuse

I always make mistakes and get into trouble
I know u will come and it will vanish like a bubble
I believe in you with all my heart
I know that u will never let us part
I find it hard to describe u my friend
I never get right words in the end
I know that you are so true
I am very lucky to have you

We feel so secure with each other
We are one when we are together
We had best times in bad days
We know how to have fun in mysterious ways
We will be friends till we die
We know its true not a lie
We know in us there is no I, I am in ur heart and you are in my

Our Enemy---> My Enemy

2008-05-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

My mind...its filled with the images of blasts....
blood is everywhere...and Masters of death must be celebrating or regretting somewhere...i don't know them but...i know what led to this..its our enemy again and its offspring's...Anger--Resentment--hostility--outrage---
--it leads to hatred---- and in the end desturction

Anger just emotion but when turns into agression ---its spoils--> beautiful emotions like love, care, sympathy, pity, warmth, bliss.....

I know it very well ....i am very aggressive...may be being type A personality leads me into it, don't know...
I can't control my emotions sometimes and specially when i am angry...most of the time i explode.. and then i regret..

I remember so many events form my past... when this one emotion destroyed me... they labeled me as aggressive...and i mentally punished myself somewhere and started suppressing my emotion and one day it exploded...it ruined me somewhere... trust me just like blasts...
Freud says that aggression stems from innate urges where others say it is influenced.. it can be learned or there is some cognitive interplay .....
From where it comes i don't know but i know it takes u to hell
It destroy u, ur relationships, ur surroundings, ur nation.. and what not
Somebody told me ones that when humans get angry they turn into beasts ..... i have seen it...

Twenty Something--> Relax

2008-05-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day……….

Its Sunday.. The most laziest day of my week, as I don’t work today, so I thought that let’s give some food to my and everybody’s brain…
Ya, I know its been days after my last post really.. I took long time to think about many issues which can help us to deal with "Quarter life crisis"…
I want take little positive approach towards it and want to give new label to old problem.. so , from now I will say "Being in one’s Twenties"…. What say?
Like how we say I am in my teens and its sounds very fundoo?
So, how to enjoy This Being in one’s twenties
One thing I have realized that I am not alone in this situation (you feel good when u have company, thanks folks joining the club ) there are million of people who are puzzled like me, they are confuse, uncertain, unsure, frustrated, feeling threatened by unknown and many synonyms of these feelings….
Everyday somebody is fighting with his loved one, breaking up relationship, quitting job, moving out from home, taking hasty decision of getting married or not, changing profession, going into depression, committing suicide, meeting accidents and n number of things…
I would love to ask myself as I am an emotional eater, that why everytime something goes wrong I start to abuse food.. What I am doing? hurting My body, My Soul and My Mind… actually I am wasting them, isn’t it?
I always knew that life is full of different puzzles and I have to figure out solution, So why I am hiding behind the bush? Why ??I wonder really…
So , people … I know that we have to do this multitasking in this phase of life, we have to deal with many problems and rediscover that happiness when we were kids…
I know that, right now we’re looking for the perfect career, making new friends, choosing a place to live, searching for the right partner, want a family, exploring the meaning of Religion, Values and beliefs, and questioning the meaning of it all, and the most important "What is Our purpose of life?"…
So, First thing first; understand " No one ever guaranteed us an easy life" , Nobody told that it will be like a party…
Actually, our parents and elders told us that life will get more and more complicated as we grow, So please if anyone has this illusion get it over with it…. Change your perspective… Don’t get stressed out because of this, use this stress positively.. Its Scientifically proven that proper amount of stress leads to better results.
So, people in twenty something;
Wake up its time to rock the work, you’re not going to sit and crib to life like a nagging wife, you have to be a seductress and conquer life
Because these days are going to define your life in coming years, this is the Foundation and people make it strong..
First step -->Relax your mind…coz healthy mind will lead to better life…
My First question to you all
Do you love yourself? Do you love your body, Mind and soul?
We love our parents, friends, relatives, pets, the boy next door, our teachers, somebody’s eyes, thoughts, acts many more things
What about you? What are the things you love about yourself? take out time and think about it.. Please at least think 10 things that u love about yourself… go stand in front of the mirror and look into your eyes and tell yourself those 10 thing u love about yourself .. and smile with all your heart and see how proud u feel and relaxed.. It worked for me I hope it works for you too..
Second thing what I found out that simple and small changes in your routine can help u to enjoy ur being in twenties, life has become so monotonous that sometimes I feel that I am a clock.
Like get up 10 min early or sleep 10 min more, take one day leave possible, clean ur desk or make it mess (if ur like me), take a different route to office (Don’t WALK to office know heat is killing), buy a new pen, change ur ring tone, see if u want to change u have to find u r way.. u have to find out what suites u..

Qurarter life crisis

2008-05-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone
Today like Archimedes I would like to scream from top of my heart and say "Eureka" "Eureka" "Eureka"
You must be thinking that I have gone "mad"
No!! Just like him today I discovered something;
What actually me and some of my friends are going through…
Today in the afternoon I was just shuffling through channels and I saw "Rajat kapoor " and I waited to take a good look at him (I REALLY LIKE HIM) It was his program on NDTV good times( I hope you know the channel.. other wise forget it)..
So he was talking about something called "Quarter life crisis"
I know its total neoteric term but once you will read about it u will thinking to change Ur lines; u will say I am going through
"Quarter life crisis" instead of saying I am frustrated
Now u must be very anxious to know abt it…
Let me ask u some questions? Answer them honestly?? U don’t have a choice ? ok
Are you between 21- 29yrs age group?
Are feeling "not good enough" because u can't find a job that is at your academic/intellectual level?
Are u frustrated with relationships, mostly at work?
Are u confuse with your identity?
Are u insecure about ur future ?
Are u confuse about goal of your life?
Are u always arguing with your parents these days?
Are u pressurize for getting married?
Are u looking for guys?
Are u Scared of commitment?
Are you not very happy with your job?
Are you missing your college friends?
Are you lonely?
Do u feel that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you?
If ur answer is mostly "Yes"… then ur also going through "Quarter life crisis"…
As I am also going through the same phase, I can tell you how I feel..
Every morning I get up and go to office but hardly excited about going (and its my 2nd job and 1st six months.. just imagine) . I know that it will be same as yesterday.. A sense of hopelessness, that something will change for good…
I feel so bad sometimes that for earning the qualifications i have, I have spent so much time and money but still they are not good enough for my job, it actually brings insecurity, uncertainty and what not..
My social life is nowhere coz all my friends are busy and may be doing something just like me.. Some of them got married and have kids now, and some are committed and others are like me "Single".. Sometimes I feel so lonely and scared, feel like life is just running away from me.. Sometimes I look at the mirror and scared to look at myself, I don’t want see me all alone.
Then there is always big talk about money and financial matters and savings, For me its more confusing than anything.. I don’t know how to save and invest and all that.. When everyone around me is doing very well really.
Everyday I reach home late, hardly I see my father as he works in shifts.. I am always in the verge of getting into argument over small things.. so keep quite as I don’t like arguments much.. but then either I drown myself in books or sleep…
I want to get married eventually but then "Mr. Right" is an illusion and I have certain goals to achieve before that, but I don’t mind falling in love now.. But let it be…
So , this what I was doing or I am doing .. this is my struggling period … and it will get over soon I hope so….

"If you are my type u would love some theoretical knowledge.. Other wise skip the para in quotes or read the following"

" In the view of Erik Erikson, certain psychosocial demands, or crises, confront the individual at distinct intervals throughout life. The young adult, for instance, is expected to enter into an institution--i.e., marriage and family--that will perpetuate the society. The degree to which the basic need for intimacy on all levels--physical, emotional, and others--is met in such a relationship determines in most individuals the conception of the self as belonging or as isolated. In middle adulthood the crisis develops between the sense of generativity and the sense of stagnation. In this stage the individual is expected to play the role of a contributing, generative member of society. Generativity can take the form of providing the goods and services by which society functions or of producing, rearing, and socializing future members of society. The inability to develop a productive self-conception results in a feeling of stagnation. In maturity, according to Erikson, a crisis arises with regard to the sense of ego integrity versus the sense of despair. In this stage, individuals realize that they are reaching the end of life. If they have successfully progressed through the previous stages of development, they can face old age with satisfaction in the feeling that a full and complete life has been led. Individuals for whom this integrity of life is lacking often feel a sense of despair over "wasted" opportunity"
So what exactly Erikson says that
In this period crisis in 3 areas of our life are:-
Career
Marriage + Relationships(Formal + Informal)
Dealing with external Forces(Parents, Society)
They are because of lack of clarity, confusion, too many options, peer pressure, too many success stories around us as people are becoming successful in small age, too many expectation from parents and self, too many goals and short time, money, social norms and many more.. Really à what these all things are leading to "Loss of self - esteem",
That means do you feel like a loser, no self worth …isn’t it?
If the answer is no then very good!!
So u have Ur weapons to deal with this crisis, if not then let’s see what we can do about it?

Total Mess!!

2008-05-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

I know this post of mine will be a total mess... what I am feeling right now, I don't even know... but I want resolve some questions which are coming to my mind.... our life revolves around our friends, family, work, hobbies and passions.... But our life is dependent on some people.... Rather I would say "one" person who makes us forget everything I mentioned above...sorry to disappoint you I am not talking about Boyfriend/ Girl friend...
Before I start, I want to quote Kahlil Gibran here "At that moment She became dearer than a friend and closer than a sister and more beloved than a sweetheart. She became a supreme thought, a beautiful, an overpowering emotion living in my spirit....
Of course I know he was talking about the women he loved... and I am not talking about love... but that doesn't change anything.. I believe his words.. They enlighten me always, that one person can become center of your life and you are not able to define the relationship with that person…
And what if that person with whom you feel so connected... do not Reciprocate.... what you will do?...what happens with you?... if it was not meant to be then why yours paths were crossed... why?? And if after sometime that person says "you are becoming too much dependent on me"…what you will say? No or Yes?? It’s a real dilemma What if the answer is Yes from your side… and on top of that u tell that person that u cannot live without that person…
Big Mistake!!!…I have learned that some people don’t like you being dependent on them.. it’ s true really…
Question arises "why we become dependent on others?"… Big question, isn’t it?
We are dependent on other people for meeting some of our needs.
Such as emotional, intellectual, social, financial and physical, these needs reminds me the famous Maslow’s need hierarchy, where he talks about basic needs like physiological, safety, love, affection, belongingness …
So we become dependent on others, due to Fear of loneliness or we hold on desperately to others to give our life meaning and direction, self worthlessness, inspiration, confusing ourselves between sympathy and love, support, nurturance, direction, lack of belief in oneself, fear making wrong direction in life…..
Once we become dependent on somebody, we tend to weave our lives according to that person, we do everything that person likes, don't do everything he/she dislikes. we tend to share every moment of life....with that person..

We don't realise that time, that actually we are intruding somebody elses personal life..as it is not two- way affair........but, Do we Stop Expecting From them ? Do we want this relationship unconditional? Do we only give and do not ask anything from them? What we do when they ignore us?

So ur love, affection, care, feelings, prayers, hopes, desires, dreams and every emotion which u show for that person becomes "Overdependance" for him/ her...

It's all About......

2008-05-02T04:05:00.000-07:00

It's all about loving somebody unconditionally...
You know we meet many people in your life...with some, you grow each day, you experience their life and their life gets involved with you... and you without any expectations follow their path u don't even think about past-- present-- future ... u be with them as their heartbeat... U r life becomes one with theirs...you don't judge them, never question them, not even force them, u give them .. and don't ask anything in return...u promise them that u will love, care and support them no matter what happens....and one day u r left alone...that time also ... when they go.. u do not stop them.. you say "good bye".....at that time u r eyes are smiling but ur heart is crying... u keep on looking at them till the road vanishes.. and after that u pray for them with whole heart... and u love the without asking for anything... so what people think of you as A fool....But you know that Love is the only rational ACT....

Frustration...

2008-04-28T23:45:00.000-07:00

"I am frustrated "... how many times in the day I quote this...
i knowww lot's of ...
now !! frustration has become universal phenomoenon ... People use it so casually... and actually they don't know which emotion actually they are undergoing ... today my friend called me and we both were talking generally and she said that she is frustrated because her life is not happening (that means problems in love life.. i gussed that ) yesterday i was talking with other friend she also said that life is frustrating because her boss is a pig amd making her life living hell...my mom always says that bus lines are frustrating.. I always thought that power cut's are frustrating.. my father thinks my behaviour is frustrating.. My brother thinks all girls are frustrating... God!! so much of it and its everywhere like Mall's (they are also everywhere ).....
So that means actually I am living with people who are on verge of depression or they are just using fundoo term to tell people that they are streesed out... ok so stress can be one of the factor which can lead to frustration... before that... want to know what frustration is??
I think it is an expression of emotion--> which comes out when our needs, desires or wishes are obstruct by some factors, may it be time, lack of resources , norms and values, society...(Actually these all things and many more.. right now I can think of this much... "I am frustrated"..oops!! )
What dictionary say is that" deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs "(God this definition is quite "frustrating" to read.. shit not again )...
so when something goes wrong in life--u come to dead end and don't know where to go.... at that time frustration comes.. but I think in my life Everything goes wrong every time... so that means I am FRUSTRATED... no i don't think so... although i use this word very often... do i have my frustration busters ?? that's million dollar question...

"Marriage" Made in heaven...

2008-04-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today i attended a Marriage...
And just one thought came to my mind... when I saw the Bride and Groom..they both were looking so "made for each other" and I felt , Really marriages are made in heaven...

As of now Me and My friends, all are eligible for marriage now!! .. and many of my friends are getting married(latest... My friend Sonali also)...

So, What is marriage? AND what it means to everybody? Married or unmarried...which life is better?...which marriage is better arranged or love...

As dictionary says marriage is-->"the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. "

Ok...But what people think? so i asked several people at wedding and some of my friends also

(as we were waiting for Reception) what marriage means to them?... I asked my "mom" first as she was seating just besides me.. she said that it's all about responsibilities, comprmise, adjustment from both sides..(i gussed it !!before She told)...next I asked my aunt she said" it is marriage, u get married, have kids, then take care of everybody ,they take care of u, u have your own family, "...then i asked my friend she said that when you love someone and u want spend your life with that person and you want grow old with that person have kids and family..(i felt like she was repeating some dialogue from hindi movie"actually that's fine a little bird told me that she is in love" ) ... then i asked my12 yr old little sister she replied that it's so cute, u get nice clothes and jewellery and u meet every body...

I got similar kinds of answers .. many of them said same things..then I asked one of my anuty and she said that "marriage is all about trusting your husband that he will take care of you, and promising him that you will be always there with him , who will be your companion forever, with whom u r going to raise ur kids and family, and one day he will give fire to ur deadbody".. god!!for two minutes i felt so bad as i knew that she is a 55 years old widow and ... i was able to read pain in her eyes.. and i felt ashemed..really

know this view is only one-sided as i asked this question to all females..but something is better than nothing..

so what i gathered from them is

"marriage"--> is to have family, kids, responsibilities, sharing and caring, trusting and loving

Wow!! Matrimony is great institution!!

at least our tradition....

Next and very important question what kind of life partner everybody looks for??

Its long list, such as "love, trust , honesty, caring, broad minded, sharing, gives you respect, cares about your opinion etc. "

...but one thing which is I think most imporatant when you look for that "special person" is that "that person should stand for you in any situation" one of my colleague told me this and she is happily married....

which marriage is better "love " or "arranged"....
I know everybody will have their take on it... especially those who are married ...
what i foud out that both have some good points and bad points... in arranged marriage everthing is new and both of them are tring to adjust, even ur new family.. in love, they knew each other so well that there is no need to undrstand and adjust but in-laws may create problems.. there no anxiety as such... if arrnage marriage goes wrong u can always come back to ur family. but in love, u have no where to go most of the times... but in love, you are with the person whom you love so dearly, and he/she takes care of , knows you better than anyone, you know about the persons values also..in arrange marriage sometimes couple is mismatched and creates problems...on thinking level, values also differ.. I think there no conclusion to this topic ... let it be... choose what works better for u...Or if you are in love get married or wait for that Mr. right or Miss Right to come along..

Women will Rule ALWAYS....

2008-04-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

You know what Mr.Bejan Daruwala predicted this morning.... that "It’s all about the women this year. Women will rule. This entire century will bloom in every field because of women. Be it home or office, politics or entertainment. I sincerely respect the power, sacrifice and courage of the female power myself. One night during my moment of revelations with God, I learnt that ‘devi maa’ will conquer the world through her splendid glory. As I was writing my conversation with God and I wrote Ganeshji will support this year through its turbulent times. Next morning to my surprise the letters changed and it was the Goddess in its placeged to us...
You are right Mr. Bejan Daruwala..But I want to make little correction that WOMEN will rule always
"Woman"... I always thought that Men and Women they are equal and those women or men who want to compete with men/ women they lack ambition..
and I am happy that we are creating space for ourselves..
In past, the women was good homemaker today she is handling big organisation; In past when she used to teach her own children now she is teaching all children; In past when she fought with British for her kingdom now she is fighting with evils of society; In past when she danced on the tunes of classical music now she can sway her body to all international beats..
common on!! people say that the status of women has changed... she has became more confident also... you know what please get your facts right ... coz women always been confident,beautiful,complex, organised, good leader, social worker and what not ....it's not we have changed .... It's peoples attitude towards us has changed .... now they have included in their mind that we do exist...
i am not against male population not at all.... i think they can be our good friends and we can actually make this world more beautiful...............

“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.”

2008-04-21T21:38:00.001-07:00

“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.” Yes!! I truly believe this... when difficulty comes it actully brings solution with it..Many times it happens that, in difficult times when we are searching for solution... we couldn't find it.. we search it everywhere.. but not within ourselves... its there with us every second... we just have to change our focus of attention and think out of the box ... I know, trust me, how it feels when you are confuse.. you don't know where to go, what to do, whom to talk... we have so many questions in our mind and no answers... what to do at that time.. i still wonder.. i am 22 years old and still don't know what i am going to do in my life.. RATHER I would like to say that i don't know what i want from life.. I still don't know what i am good at.. i still don' t know what are my strengths.. what are my weaknesses? what i like? what i hate?what makes me happy?what makes me sad? what is the goal of my life? do i have any dreams? what i wish for?.... i don't know... i feel so useless and unproductive sometimes... i know that i am still in search of myself....i know that there is solution within me but there are some black clouds covering them.. and making it difficult for me to reach myself Sometimes i wonder... am i being turthful to myself ?? about so many things..