Demise of separation

Dedicated to my wishful thinking....


In the middle of the night....
Beneath the starlit sky,
as she walks... looking at clouds passing by...
Her silk stole, is fluttering and her fragrance mingling in the space...
strands of hair drooping on her nape and she is walking with grace...
On the cliffs He is standing, waiting for her...
Looking at waves and listening to wind's soft murmur..
In one hand boom box and holding scarlet rose in other...
Like a rigid sculpture, standing still altogether..
As she reaches her destination and looks at him
His silhouette is beaming, and everything is grim..
She walks towards him...with quick strides
stressing to cease the distance, as them it divides
as soon as he smells her in the air and turns around
watching her pacing through ruff track..makes him spell bound
Insane urge in his heart, makes his heart sway...
promptly he walks to her, to meet her halfway
she looks at him, looking at her
in ruffled loose shirt and sea water droplets all over
wind is in his hair and smile on his face
his eyes are glinting with mischievous gaze.
he presents her the rose and holds her hand
and he puts on the music as he planned...
a tear trickles down from her eyes..
but her smiling lips are enchanting surprise
he takes her in his embrace...never to let her go..
they belong to each other...what if others say no...
she smiles into his eyes and he into her..
Just happiness ...from now..as they will live together
she clenches his hand and moves toward the peak...
he follows her silently..as there is no need to speak..
for a second they look at each other...as being on cloud nine..
knowing from tomorrow....everything will be fine.
Holding each other...they plunge into the heart of the ocean
and it takes them in... with simple harmonic motion...
the music goes on but there is hush all around
and on one rock ...a shattered rose is found....
mortals cry on earth but angels in the heaven smile
they lived for nothing...but died worthwhile...
YES!! now and forever..they will live with each other...
what if...life separated them but death wedded them together...

I grew up in Kolshet...its beautiful...and its homely...I dedicate my words To Kolshet...Where I dwell... and where my heart will be...when I move on...








The soft light of the setting sun
The zephyr kissing her cilium
And banished beggar singing hymn
She seeks solitude in sudden whim…
The citrus sky and gelid feel..
Rustling tree-tops and bang tails winging with zeal
Streetlights glint and moonlight tumbles
Oh! My dwelling is so entrancing; she gushes, and she mumbles

She walks towards the shore, reckoning her strides
Silence, solitude In her soul collides
Barefooted she treads on silky sand
Gazing waves, dashing on rocky land….
Her thoughts are enchanted...and her pace stumbles
Stunning panorama!! captivating my sight; she gushes, and she mumbles...

she looks at the sky, which is turning dark
and arriving moon with illuminating spark
embellishment of stars on celestial sphere
menacing shadow abruptly disappear...
She feels still, quite and solitary...although her heartbeat fumbles
Yes !!Heaven is just here!! she gushes, and she mumbles...

I am gracious

To, Didi and Jiju...and Nair Family..


I am gracious, to U wid all my heart
U made me what I am now...made me stand apart
U taught me to love and be kind..
when I was spoilt child and out of mind
Thanks for giving me home and the warmth I needed
all the hatred and lonliness from my heart it weeded...
U are my angel and my good friend
wid your love..YOU helped my broken heart to mend...


Sometimes I wonder, how U became part of life?
Its funny u became my friend..just like Ur dearest wife..
I feel that I know U for years...like an old friend
sometimes I feel U are also godsend...
Thank you...for coming to the life of didi's and mine
U are wonderful father and wid U everything will be fine....


I thank you all, treating me as one of you
for giving me time and ears and smile too
I treasure the time I shared wid you all
wid elders and new members who are still small..
so many.. kind poeple live under one roof..
here lives, humanity...and I am the proof


To word my gratitude...I don't have enough words or space
Oh! guys you all rock...For U all there is no replace...

I gave You Love

To.....(Not my friend anymore)..and people who lie to me...

Sometimes, I wonder..what A big fool I am
That I gave you My love
But, then...I thought U were my friend...
u breached my trust, and broke my heart..
and because of you , my world , and I fell apart


I always thought, U cared for me..But I was wrong
I dont believe...How? I was in delusion for so long...
U were My friend...thats what u said
all those lies of u are still in my head..
But, now I hate Myself...that I trusted you
u were born manipulative and will die too..


I don't want to waste my words much
but I need to let go what I seems to clutch..
the anger.. hatred..for you
hating u makes me think of U
So..I want to be indifferent to you..
I want you out my mind
coz..this is the only way I find..
with my words... I forgive you...to forget you
but...I hope in futrue I will not see you..

I am part of "YOU"

From now I will Dedicate my Poems to People who made my life special by more than "Just Being there" So, I dedicate this poem to, Ganpati bappa, thy part I am....









“YOU” are the one whom I trust the most
I am speaking ... my heart...coz there is no need to boast
About what we share and how we are
“YOU” are in my heart... “YOU” can't be afar...
“YOU” are there for me...whenever I need “YOU”...
Because “YOU” are the whole and I am the precious part of “YOU”...
In me… “YOU” are the hope, when I close my eyes and pray
In me… “YOU” are the smile that makes someone… happy everyday..
In me… “YOU” are the Love which helps me to endure pain
In me…"YOU” are the strength which helps me to live sane…
“YOU” can hold me and scold me for wrong I do
But When I am right...and want to fight... “YOU” are there for me too
“YOU” can give me everything… but hardly “YOU” take
But whenever I am wrong….then “YOU” point out my mistake…
I wonder sometimes, that "YOU" are divine and almighty..
but For me "YOU" are My Friend not merely a deity..
"YOU" laugh with me when I am happy...
"YOU" put up with my anger, when I am snappy
"YOU" meet me as friend , when I need a cheering soul..
"YOU" give out love, which makes me whole...
The Day, I took birth on this Earth..
"YOU" being there with me, made my living worth...
Today, when I am capable to take care of me...
I know..no one can give me care and love as thee...
So, u my lovely confidant...
I hope our bonding should live forever..that's what I want...
So, be there If I tremble on life's, difficult way..
I need your hand and that is what I pray....

I Wish.....

I wish it would go away...the rage inside me....
I am annoyed with my own anger..... and what it makes me...
I feel edgy, I feel mad...I feel alone and I feel sad.....
It makes me so dangerous and vulnrable...
I know, when I am furious I am not at all stable...
I say, bad words and many times I scream
Once I am furious I can go to any extreme
It's my temper, I can't control....
Although, I try with all my heart and soul


but still I know,
I am not bad, cruel or rude
when I am angery it makes me just crude..
I can't control mine heated feelings
may be I am very sloppy with emotional dealings....
I want to control these strong emotions I feel
But binding fury is very hard to deal


It makes me feeble and weak
It makes me beast as they all speak
I live on an edge...from where I will fall anytime
Is getting angry is really a crime?
Its just emotion I feel...When I am threatend by some
It just, just expression, still I can't overcome
But, when I supress my anger.....
then, living volcano inside me.... i hold
boiling with anger and ready to explode...


Oh! I know when I am angry everyone hates me
I know what they feel..I can see..
They think I am inhuman...may be a devil
Does anyone with intense emotion can be civil?

Escape...

I am longing to esacape from the life I live
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...
without any thought I plunge into my subconscious
and shut.. the door... to the whole world of realities...to just outlive...
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...





In the sphere of my subconscious
I am the swayer
I am the creater, protector and destroyer...
Here..Everybody obeys me ..dances on my tunes
I am the taskmaster and others are goons..
I am not harsh...till respect I recieve
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...



I can swim in the river, and breath virgin breeze
I can trail on the mountain, and walk barefeet
I can sleep in the peace, and wake up a new
I can dance in the rain and catch all the drops of dew
So... beautiful my fanatasy is , so, hard to believe
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...



Here no one can make me cry, or make me small..
I am always smiling and standing above all..
no one to judge me no one to pass comment
I am certain to me everyone is benevolent...
no one to caste me off...no one to cage
so, I live here without fear and rage...
I have learned here to give and Forgive...
so, I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live...


But, Then....
When Sometime I wake up to reality
And I realise that I am living life as if it is just a formality..
No..Its not fault of real and reality
I have woven the fake world..and its a kind of abonormality...
I want to esacap and deny my actual world and where I belong...
I want to elude the the truth...and that's what is wrong...
Though...I know its Superficial what I percieve
But, still " I sleep and dream about..the life I want to live"

stirred and terrified.....

now there is whirlwind in my conscience
those departed sweet and sour memories
are returning... Just like.... life is coming to full circle
I am scared and standing with my all defences....to rebuff those adversaries
who made me feeble in the past...I was broken...
feelings were dead inside me....
I tried to gather pieces of my heart...though it was futile...
Everything was lost....
but still I live with those pitiful moments...
In my heart ...sealed and unspoken...
though once they made me soar in firmament...
and with my next breath I came down on earth...wounded
Just like the bird who's wings are slashed...but still alive
... Empty.. soundless.... and hollow...
I was dead inside..though breathing...and living in torment..
Days were lonely and nights were haunting...
as if I was lost in the dark forest of sorrows....disoriented
afraid of sunshine...as if it will consume me ...
hiding in the closet...as if the stares of people were too intimidating....
I was paranoid .....
but, then time heals all....
like Phoenix .. I took birth from ashes of my past.....
Buried all the feelings...and that consuming pain behind
Mended my broken heart.... with a fence of a secure wall...
and now..everything is coming back with U ...
what I left behind...what I couldn't end...
what I couldn't ignore...what I still feel
those all retentions erupting me and cutting me through..
I thought the wall was potent..U will not get through
But it was crushed with your one glance...
The wall is broken now...and U already pried in...
Now I am not able to snub U....
So, I am wound up....How I will face you?? stirred and terrified.....