I know...

I know
It's probably impossible
that we will ever be together

but, what should I tell my heart?
It still wants to wait for you, forever and ever....

I know
It's likely unthinkable
that I will see you once again
but, what should I tell my eyes?
They still want to look for you, without complain....

I know
It's probably impossible
that I will listen to your words now and then
but, what should I tell my ears?
They are still waiting to hear from you again and again...

I know
It's likely unthinkable
that I will able to touch you, once in while
But, what should I tell my hands?
They still want to seek you with a hug and smile....

I know
It's outrageously foolish
that, You will ever know that how much I loved you
But, what should I tell Myself ?
Who still needs love and only love from you....

Tanuja Pawar

Words....

To, My Grandpa....Love of my life

 



My grandpa once told me, that our love can create miracles
I hoped, that one day I 'll be part of one... 
He told me"what you give, you get it back in return"
I made up my mind, that I'll be always giving out love
So,now years went by and my old man passed away
I still believe in his words and what he used to say....
He told me "being kind is more important than being right"
I've realized the same now, when I am helping demented minds...
He told me"don't give up on people whom you love, they always return"
I've never closed the doors of my heart on my own...
He told me "God always gives you what u deserve and what you worked for"
I've never been causal about my work and I've never given up on god...
He told me"Its never too late to say sorry"
I've learnt that no matter how big my mistake was, in the end I was forgiven...
He told me"Smile all the time if u want to fight loneliness"
I gained lot's of friends to smile with me and to relish life with them..
He told me"U will get the exact life U will wish for"
I've learned that I can colour my life with the magic wand..
In the end, He told me the most important thing
Still today its the biggest reason of my being...
He whispered "I love you " in my ears.
It made me feel special that day and will keep me happy for coming years..
I know he is not with me Today
I will never forget his words and what he used to say....

Tanuja Pawar

Revenge

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To find solace,
Night eagerly awaits,
Sun to vanish and darkness to come
As light melts away and shadow comes along
The night curbs in and the brightness succumbs
As soon as the darkness spreads and covers whole vicinity
and night conquers luminosity.....then begins fresh era of iniquity
It wants to punish the mortals who worship brightness and glorify a day
Now, Night is escorted by the darkness... creates supreme somberness
The breeze is cold and the night is wicked, Its greedy and vicious
It creates a dwelling for thieves, criminals and alcoholics
It seduces them to act in incorrect and perverted ways
Darkness intoxicates their ability to think and feel
All bow down to the darkness with silence
They do what is to be called forth
And, it leaves them alone
To fight with the world
When day comes
Revenge ….

Farewell....

Dedicated to someone I know....

 









I cried in the corner, sitting on an old battered bench.
I needed to vent out , my quondam quashed quench....
The tears came with sobs and my body trembled 
I leant against the tattered wall and his name I mumbled...
He just left the world, after fighting with his pain for years

I couldn't do anything yet I kept on holding my tears

and now, I couldn't hold back... the pain I felt within..

so I let out my emotions which were curbed in..

No...I don't want to give him farewell wrapped in tears

But I had to cry so I can survive in coming years
I knew, that he wanted to go...leave this dreadful life
Yet, he waited, for me to overcome my soul's strife...
and... yesterday he cried like a baby and asked me to let him go
I unleashed him from my nestle, I should have done it long ago...
It was not easy for me to ask him to go away....
without him, all alone how can I live a single day...
I gave him life, he is part of me
how can I tell him to go? yet he wanted to be free...
I looked into his eyes...they were so desperate to get some rest...
I realized, letting loose these ties.... is only for his best.
So I yielded to his wishes ....Let him go to sleep...
I came out...sat on the same battered bench...but I couldn't weep...
Now, I am crying away my anguish and let my cheeks drench
I needed to vent out , my quondam quashed quench....
Copyright "Tanuja Pawar"

Another Day

I look out of the window, and see the grey sky
As countless frustrations clouding my core and my throat goes dry
Living with Confusion and chaos, kindles my fears
And my eyes feel sorry, when it slide downs tears
I wipe my tears and try to smile
So what I have problems which are vile
But, still I believe in miracles and god’s mysterious way
And I say to myself! Girl, just give your self another day…


When problems come without giving a sign
And life becomes a riddle, and I want to whine
No one to talk to and no one to lean on,
Just all alone, and everything going wrong
Looking and searching for answers makes me mad
And then I feel really hopeless, sick and sad
But, I don’t know, how? I don’t give up, but I close my hands and pray
And I say to myself! Girl, just give your self another day…


I know one day grey clouds will go and sun will shine
Confusions will disappear and I’ll be fine
Troubles come and go, they never stay forever
I have to deal with them being patient and clever
I must prioritize what I want, what don’t
If I don’t want to do something I have to say “I won’t”
I know that one day; I’ll find my way…
And whenever trouble comes, I will give myself another day….

Crossroads

To my Brother.....




Confusion, within
Never-ending.. Commotion of thoughts...
Standing at Crossroads, A point where a choice must be made
One wrong direction and future will fade
What should I do? where should I go?
What is right? and What is wrong?
I am on my own, no one to hold on...


Until now, I was not allowed to take decisions on my own
And suddenly, I am left alone because, You think I have grown
You stopped spoon feeding me, without giving me a clue
You know, it’s scary, standing alone at crossroads, without knowing what to do…
I looked at you for help, but you were already gone
I am on my own, no one to hold on...


I really don’t know, what kind of games life plays
I am still amateur to infer life’s uncanny ways
I am not a coward, not running away
I don’t want you to do my work, but please be my guide, and lead the way
If you turn back on me, I have no where to go, no one to look upon
I will be on my own, no one to hold on...


What if I have grown up, got wings to fly
I will always need you, even if I reach the sky
I need your word of advice now and evermore
It will give strength to my wings whenever I soar
I don’t want to be on my own, I want to hold on
Being there for each other, that’s what I want from hereon…..

lonesome Rain

Dedicated to all lonely hearts.....


With the nightfall, the rain came down
I left my base… with dissonance and frown..
I walked few blocks in the rain ….uninterested and ignoring
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……


I was wondering…. about now and then
Walking in the lonesome rain…
The same splatter once made me glad
At the moment, it is black and mad
The driblets of water are whipping me endlessly
At one time it used to smooth out, my stress so effortlessly
Once the rain was magnificent and alive
And today it is cruel and difficult to survive.
I felt, the approaching destruction….As the monsoon was roaring…
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……


Earlier rain was fun,
I never missed warmth of the sun…
I used to go out, for long walks in the woods
I used to sit and stare, naughty waves and their funny moods
I used to paint assorted shades of sky
I used to feel revived and wanted to fly….
And now, rain makes me gloomy and I brood
I stay home and close my windows …. So it won’t intrude…
Sky roars most of the day
And transmits Storms, floods and dismay
Suddenly I was numb…and for me rain was boring
It was dark, I was drenched and it was pouring……


And then….
I saw…. A girl frolicking in the rain
She was as happy as rain, and without single drop of pain
Instantly, I realized…. Rain was not lonely
It was I who was Lonely, unhappy and left out...

Stills of Memories...

Dedicated to all preserved Photos.....

When I see, my photographs, the imagery possessions of my past

They tell me how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

On just a bit of paper the events of my life are caught and fixed...

On one small plane my life's all emotions are intermixed...

All the Happy moments, are caught with simple click

Don't know its real or just a magic trick...

In some of those, I see my silly and foolish smile

In some of those, I see myself thinking for a while

In some of those, I see me looking at the sky

In some of those, I have clicked someone passing by

I see my herd of friends making amusing faces

I see all the snaps of my favourite places...

It feels really nostalgic, taking just look at them

Recalling the past events makes me overwhelm..

Oh! looking at these stills memories, as reliving own past..

They tell me, how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

I have pic of my grandpa holding me

I can see him, whenever I miss thee

The pic of my old school makes me teary

when I was happy and believed tales of faerie

Jimmy running across the garden to frighten a crow

and on my birthday everyone clapping as the candle I blow...

It feels just like a ride on Time machine, taking me back in the past

They tell me how the time has passed, quickly and fast...

On some lazy Sunday, reminiscing all the afternoon

The pictures in my hands and singing a forgotten tune..

Returning to old days, and reckoning blessed past...

Oh! I wonder, How and when the time has passed, So quickly and So fast...

Tanuja Pawar